Tantrum or meltdown? The difference matters more than you think…
If your child’s explosive episodes don’t respond to rewards, consequences, or ignoring — chances are, it’s NOT a tantrum. It’s a neurological meltdown.
Here’s what parents need to know:
- Tantrums are choices. Kids still have some control and can stop if they get what they want.
- Meltdowns are crashes. The brain + nervous system become so overwhelmed that they can’t process, regulate, or respond to logic.
- Traditional discipline makes meltdowns worse — it’s like adding fuel to an already overloaded fire.
- Warning signs matter: covering ears/eyes, pacing, fidgeting, avoiding eye contact = nervous system overload is coming.
- During a meltdown, your job isn’t to stop it… It’s to anchor your child until their nervous system resets.
- Meltdowns aren’t your child just choosing to have ‘bad behavior.’ Their nervous system is in crisis mode. When we start supporting the root cause, the nervous system, that’s when everything changes: fewer meltdowns, calmer emotions, better sleep, and stronger focus.