Is my Baby on Track with Developmental Milestones?

The Truth About Milestones: Why When Doesn’t Matter as Much as What

As a parent, you’ve probably seen those milestone charts plastered all over social media and pediatrician offices—”By 3 months, your baby should do this,” “By 6 months, they should do that.” But here’s the thing: those dates are not the most important part of your child’s development.

Let’s break it down with a neurologically focused lens so you can stop stressing about only the timelines and start understanding the sequence and foundation behind real developmental progress.

Milestones: Rethinking the Framework

At Thrive, we help simplify the overwhelm by looking at milestones in two phases:

• Phase 1: Foundational Milestones (the basics your child’s nervous system needs for healthy growth)
• Phase 2: Complex Neurological Functions (things like speech, emotional regulation, social interaction, and learning)

If Phase 1 isn’t strong, Phase 2 will likely struggle. Many of the most concerning challenges—like delayed speech, poor focus, anxiety, and social disconnect—have their roots in a weak neurological foundation.

Phase 1: The Foundation Every Baby Needs

So what does a solid foundation look like? It’s not fancy—it’s all about how well your baby can eat, sleep, poop, and move.

1. Eating

Breastfeeding should be intuitive. Trouble latching, excessive spitting up, or reflux may be early signs of stress in the nervous system—often from birth interventions or upper neck tension affecting a baby’s ability to regulate.

2. Pooping

Daily bowel movements are ideal. Yes, even for breastfed babies! The common “it’s fine if they go a week without pooping” advice doesn’t sit well with us (or your baby!). A fussy baby with a tight belly is a baby whose nervous system might be stuck in stress.

3. Sleeping

Sleep shouldn’t be a nightly war. Babies who are constantly stiff, rigid, or tense are often in fight-or-flight mode, not rest and digest. A relaxed, regulated baby sleeps more easily.

4. Motor Control & Movement

This is where things get exciting. Movement—especially intentional, patterned movement—is what actually builds the brain. The most powerful example? Crawling.

Tummy time, babywearing, and all variations—all help babies avoid being stuck flat on their backs. That movement leads to rolling, then to the holy grail of motor development: the cross-crawl pattern (opposite hand and knee moving together). An army crawl, but scoot, and other alternatives don’t have the same neurological benefits as the proper cross-crawl movement.

Unfortunately, recent milestone updates removed crawling entirely from their checklist! We believe that’s a massive mistake. Crawling is essential—it shows that your baby’s brain is communicating across hemispheres and is ready for more complex functions. Skipping it often leads to struggles later.

Phase 2: Higher Brain Function (Built on a Strong Base)

Once that foundation is solid, the more advanced skills follow:

• Speech & Communication: babbling, imitating sounds, eventually talking
• Socialization: playing with kids, not just near them
• Emotional Regulation: handling transitions, calming down, not melting down over every challenge
• Cognition & Focus: attention span, learning, doing well in school

But here’s what most parents don’t hear: it’s not just about the timing—it’s about the sequence. Skipping steps (especially crawling) or seeing regression in earlier ones is a red flag.

What’s Causing This?

Often it traces back to early stress:

• Prenatal stress or in-utero constraint
• Birth intervention and trauma (especially vacuum, forceps, C-section)
• Early toxic exposure and antibiotic usage

These can interfere with the upper neck and vagus nerve, which are key players in regulating digestion, immunity, and sleep.